Thursday, October 13, 2022
From the Iowa Prison Writing Project


When you look me in the eyes what is it 

that you really see? 

Can you see a man full of rage, a man full of 

loyalty or a man diseased?

I live throughout my existence a fugitive of 

myself cause from a youth I’ve been in dispair, 

I once had family and friends to support me 

mentally but as time passed I found out they 

didn’t care.


Time is my torment dedicated to the lesser me

Where I’m insufficient of success no matter 

how hard I fly to achieve,

I hold love in my heart and try to do good but 

doing the right thing is discomforting so I’m left 

blind and don’t know which way to see.

We are all told from a youth to find and follow 

the path of righteousness. 

and I learned along the way that nothing is as 

it seems as it ain’t what it is but something 

far complex.

Lessons are best taught through time but 

someone one told me that somethings are 

best left unsaid. 

So everyday I wonder if times will get better 

as I bow then prostrate Arm, Leg, Leg, Arm,



In time as humans how do we know when 

We’ve had enough for our lone Souls to 


I’ve been tired and tried every which way a 

Man can handle and still it’s in hell I stare.

Where do I find the will to live when my days are numbered?

Will I ever find happiness which its in Prison I 


When will enough be, When I lay dead void 

of life?

because I’ve had to much living in anguish 

and in constant strife.

I’m bone tired of being locked up and locked

down while waiting for better days to come


I continue to pray to make it through the day

I hear the door slam and hear welcome as the 


Can a Man actually live when he feels like

he has a hollowed Soul?

he’s walking uphill with no destination feeling 

like he’s got nowhere to go?

Can a man be a man if he’s full of heartache 

and full of emptiness?

Can he be whole when he’s a quarter left

from falling short of bliss?

How do I achieve what it means to achieve?

how do I prove to everyone that I’m giving

the best of me?

How do I expel within myself if my constant 

negative thoughts?

how do I live in the present when the man of 

my past is who I sought?

Who and how do I ask for help?

Who, cause I can’t trust myself.

Will I ever feel at ease when I struggled all

my life?

Will I ever feel at ease within myself when I 

feel like I have no breathe to fight?

Where and how so I find the man inside and 

accept him for who he truly is?

Whatever I may be I need to try something

else cause I can’t keep thinking like this.

I try to stay optimistic as my misery overpowers

my institutionalized mind. 

but some way or the other I get sucked

back down into the chaos of anxiety where

I’m left none too kind. 


It’s safe to say that time in the mental is

my inner selfs worse enemy.

Who’s intelligent planning my demise, slowly

watching my soul bleed.


Time is the lesson learned from which I had 

thought I’d never see,

time in its span for all is temporary but for

me is a lesson that won’t succeed.

So late night into the early morning when it’s 

quiet and I’m completely at ease,

I pay for all who’s as the same as me, 

locked up and locked down wishing to go home

to our family.