From the Prison Writing Project
I was 14 years old with a heart so cold,
listen up a chapter of my life you’re about to be told.
I started with weed and moved onto meth,
addicted instantly from the very first breath.
The feeling it gave me was all too great,
it was destined to happen kind of like fate.
I should’ve said nope to the thing they call dope,
but it was all too fun blowin’ out big clouds of smoke.
I’m not gonna lie I loved getting high
but soon after I started it wasn’t the same,
at that very moment I started to bang.
I was 16 years old on the run and all alone
When all I wanted was to be able to go home
but I couldn’t face my mom for the things that I’ve done wrong.
I was stuck on the streets looking for a place to sleep,
thank you Kalib, without you I would’ve had nothing to eat.
My appreciation words can’t even speak.
To support my habit I took this and that
and traded it all for wack.
I’m sorry I wish now I could give it all back.
It didn’t take long for things to go wrong
in the blink of an eye everything that I loved was gone.
I needed help I was in too deep
which made it hard to speak
I don’t think anyone could have heard me anyway I was out too far,
too far to reach.
The next part of the game may seem attractive
but don’t get distracted it’s full of fake people
most of them are just actin’.
No longer robbin’, no longer stealin’
I thought I found the answer in a thing we call dealin’.
Serving fiends by all means
I had all kinds of things
nothing was out of reach not even the most precious of things
except all of my own hopes and childhood dreams.
I gave them all up for a few lousy bucks
when I added it all up it didn’t add up to much.
The price that me and my loved ones are paying
in prison I’m laying
I just hope that people will listen to the words that I’m saying,
until then for you I will be praying.
As for me never again, not no, not maybe
Because of meth I missed the birth of my babies.
It’s time that I put you down, turn my life around
taking care of my children is where I’m going to be found.
A memory of you I will always hold near
of the things that you stole, the things that I held so very dear.
You snatched the innocence right out of me
you did it in secret so nobody would see.
When I get out I will scream and shout
I’m staying clean this time without a doubt.
Last time I tried to do this all on my own
but this time for sure I’M NOT ALONE.
I brought a friend this time to fight my fight
try as you might BUT YOU CAN’T FIGHT THE LIGHT.
I found Him and confessed all of my sins.
He gave me a new life, right here is where it begins.
I have to forgive you so that I can be free
of the guilt and shame that you put inside of me.
This I tell everyone with my head held high
I no longer need meth, I no longer need to get high.
So goodbye meth,
goodbye you FAKE friend.
TODAY IS THE DAY THAT I PUT YOU TO DEATH.
-Matthew Magers