Tuesday, March 12, 2019

It’s What I Know


From my past, the way I use to handle my pain
Was different than the norm, I took a knife and engraved
Gave myself cuts, for a lot of reasons
I was giving up, I was upset, grievin’
Trying to figure out what wasn’t and was real
So I took a blade, put it to my skin to feel
To make sure wasn’t a dream, a figment of my imagination
That what was happening to me, wasn’t somehow my creation
And when I did it, it became an addiction
Everyday I needed it, this is nonfiction
Even though a lot of times I wish it was, but it was never to be
My childhood, a dark rising, in my eyes when it wasn’t, I see
That the way I perceived things was a hell of a lot different
Though they were bad and stinged, my mind was insufficient
To comprehend when things went down
I raised up out of the ashes from the ground
My soul’s no phoenix and I mean this
My soul’s tainted and dark, mind twisted, heart is torn apart
This is my story and this is how it goes so far
I’m the darkness in the sky, not a shining star
This inner pain that never shows
It’s all that I have ever known
I walk down this road, with my thoughts alone
This plane of existence, I call home
This is one of the deep pits of my soul
I know this, cause pain is what I know
Inside my head, there are a lot of battles
Many me dead, my internal walls rattle
My mind’s land scarred, with buildings collapsed
A lot of hopes and ideas, shattered like glass
A lot of fragments embedded in me, ripping and shearing